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A word labor on a labor day!

Shieva Ghofrany: [00:00:00] Okay, is Labor Day. I'm not on call, I'm not in the hospital. I have a day completely off, which sounds so crazy that family is sleeping. So I snuck upstairs here to do a quick video about the labors. The labors on Labor Day. So 18 years ago when I started private practice, and I joined my partners who I had known for four years prior in residency. 

Dr. Kahil, one of my divine partners who you. Was on a baby story. I don't know if any of you used to watch it, A baby story that was on tlc and two of our patients actually chose to be on that show, and it's basically they would, the camera and crew would come into the labor room or the C-section room and video the entire thing, and then it would be edited and shown on tv. 

Obviously not like, you know, crotch shots, vaginal shots, but everything else. So he was in it because he was taking care of the patient during. I did not wanna be in it. I declined one of the two times when our patients were in it, because at the time I was like 250 pounds and I did not need the camera adding 10 pounds or 20 or whatever it adds.[00:01:00]  

So his show happened to air on my day off. So I always had Tuesdays off. I was at home at the time, I had no babies, so I was like, You know, married job one day off a week. I mean, what did I do with my free time? I don't know. So I'm watching a baby story and he comes on and he sits on the edge of this patient's bed as she's in labor. 

And um, he says labor, it's like climbing man Everest. It's like running a marathon. And I remember laughing thinking, Patrick, you haven't done those things. How the hell do you know, you're so wonky? Um, but I figured it was like that and I had already. Hundreds, thousands of babies, probably at that point in like four and a half years into being a doctor. 

And I was like, God, it does seem grueling. And I was pregnant at the time. 10 months later, I deliver my baby, my only baby to come out of my body vaginally. And the Lord, let me tell you, I have not run a marathon. I have not climbed on Everest, but I have birthed a. From my vagina and it's gotta [00:02:00] be close enough, if not worse, 

And here's the hard part, and this is what I wanna talk about today. And that was the only baby I birthed vaginally cuz then I chose two C-sections. So let me just preface the entire conversation with, while there is a strong push, no pun intended, for women to feel that they should deliver vaginally I person. 

and it's not a popular view, but I'm still proud to say it as much as I want to say it. Um, I want women to feel strongly that they are going to birth, they're human healthily and in a way that helps them feel valued and collaborated with. Okay. Those are important choices to me, valued and collaborated. I didn't say anything about. 

It's important that you feel that you got to deliver vaginally or it's important that you feel that you got to have a C-section because I cannot control that. You cannot control that. Well, C-section you can control, but vaginal delivery you can't, but you can control that you feel [00:03:00] valued and collaborated with if you find the right practitioner, which you can. 

And by the way, again, I don't take new patients. My partners are really busy. We're not saying this to get new patients. . I don't mean that, I don't mean it to be jokey, like don't come to us, but like this is not an advertisement for us cuz I'm not taking new people. Um, but this is a push for you to find practitioners that you collaborate with. 

And once you do and you have either that wonderful but challenging vaginal delivery or. Challenging attempt at vaginal that ended up in a C-section. You will agree that the end result was wonderful. Now, was it ideal in how you pictured it? No. And that can leave you still with feelings of sadness or discontent? 

I think that many of my patients. Hopefully whom we're watching would say, Ugh. I had that like two or three hour push, and then I had a vaginal delivery and it was really challenging to recover from, and now I don't know if I would do it again, or I had that really challenging delivery and it was amazing. 

Or I had that really challenging vaginal delivery attempt [00:04:00] that ended up after four hours of pushing in a C-section, and I'm bummed about that. They might experience all those feelings, or they had a really, by the way, super easy, fast fashional delivery. That's great too. Or super easy schedule. C-section for reasons such as breach, repeat, C-section, or I just want a C-section. 

All of these births are beautiful and valid when we all work together to collaborate. The labor part can be really challenging and I think that women, like anything else are really tacitly, subtly and overtly pushed into this feeling that any, any delivery less than a vaginal delivery, any feeding, less than breastfeeding, Is not enough. 

It might be pretty good, but it's the second. And I want to shout from the rooftops that I don't think that's true and that is anathema in our world. And while I love and value American College of OB G Y N for so much of what they do, Thank you for your vaccine advocacy. Thank you for your women's health advocacy. 

I [00:05:00] do kind of think that our community does go a bit wrong when it comes to so strongly advocating for vaginal deliveries, that it becomes borderline shaming and gets into women's minds as vaginal delivery should be considered the best period in all circumstances. and C-sections are second. And I don't think that's true. 

In many circumstances, vaginal delivery is the best. Absolutely. But there are many circumstances and not just, you know, the life of the mother is at risk, but many circumstances where C-section might be best, and that can be for psychological reasons, that can be for a logistical reason, that can be for a lot of reasons. 

So I really want you guys to all consider this one. It comes to Labor Day and labor. Labor is a challenge. Labor is hard. Labor is. , you can come and say, hi, my baby girl who I did not labor by the way. A C-section That baby girl. Good morning, baby girl. On Labor Day Morning. Do you wanna show them your hair? 

No. Okay. Um, the laborers can be so difficult, but the laborers can also be beautiful, so you [00:06:00] should feel collaborated with engaged. Whoever your provider is, whoever your partner you've chosen to be with you. And that does not mean it's gonna be beautiful and easy. It is gonna suck at times. It might suck during middle end, but if you feel that you actually got through it with the end result being you and a child, that really can be so incredibly powerful. 

And again, it doesn't mean that it leaves you devoid of feelings of a little bit of sadness, a little bit of anxiety, a little bit. It's not exactly how I thought it was gonna go. And while I'm okay with it, I still have feelings to process because I think the flip side is that all too often, many doctors, and I think I used to do this a lot more and I'm trying not to, would kind of be like, well, why is everyone upset? 

I mean, you got a baby. You and the baby are happy and healthy. I wouldn't say that, but in my heart I would kind of sometimes feel it, like people would be really distraught over their labor process. And my view was like, okay, but you have a baby that's happy and healthy. And I said that more so than anything. 

I clearly see women who don't [00:07:00] have happy, healthy endings, and I know that given the choice, you'd rather have a really challenging delivery that didn't end up your way versus a challenging situation where the baby ends up not okay. And I think because my first child ended up in the NICU with a small intrauterine stroke, not because of labor, but just left me with feelings of like, why do we torture ourselves into thinking every baby has to come out? 

So again, this is my long-winded way of saying in labor, on labor Day, labor can be beautiful and wonderful. Labor can end in a vaginal delivery. That's easy. Labor can end in a vaginal delivery. That's hard. Labor can end in a C-section. They're all wonderful. , you will have to heal from all of them. Healing is tough. 

Mamas, those new mamas who are going through right now, you know, it is tough and it might leave you with feelings of reflection that are great feelings of reflection, that are not great feelings of forward thinking about whether or not you're gonna birth again or how you're gonna birth again. And these can all be valid. 

And all I [00:08:00] urge you to do is do them with, um, a feeling of discussion and openness with your partner and. Provider so that you feel as good about the process as you can feel given the challenges. Labor has become a hard thing for so many reasons that I'll talk about in another video. Like we have strayed from nature people, so let's remember nature did not set the table for our party right now, so why are we expecting nature to show up? 

We didn't even invite her here, really. Right? We're doing everything in such unnatural ways, which is okay, we're doctors, we go against nature, but I think we need to be. Let's not invoke nature's name and expect nature to show up and do everything the the way she wanted to do it when we did not set a place for her at the table. 

Okay? This was much longer than I thought. I don't know if any of you have gotten to the end, but if you have, thank you. Happy Labor Day. If you're laboring, God speed, and I want you and your baby to be happy and healthy no matter how that baby comes out of your body.[00:09:00]