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Miscarriage and Mindset Pratice

Shieva Ghofrany: [00:00:00] Hi. Here's what we're gonna talk about today. This is gonna be woowoo and miscarriages. And I say woowoo, meaning, uh, there's not gonna be all the clinical stuff about miscarriages. I'll give you the nugget. Miscarriages are really common and they suck, and there's no two ways about it. I mean, when they, when you go through them, they are very common. 

So your doctor will say things like, they're very common, 20%, maybe more, and in miscarriage, And that is all meant to help you feel less angst. But the fact is they suck. This is what I wanna talk about ladies. So if you're not going through it or in child buried the mail, it's my office or, um, thinking about this stuff, swipe away. 

But it came up because I was thinking about yes. Yesterday what I posted in my stories about how the day was about to start, and it was potentially gonna be a really difficult day with a lot of patients because of the long weekend, because of a lot of reasons. And I decided very pragmatically to say, this is gonna be a great day. 

I'm gonna make it a great day. No, of course, I know it could have been a [00:01:00] terrible day, but either way, the day was gonna happen. So I might as well have chosen to say it was gonna be great and to do the things I could to calm myself down. Because again, the train was. Right. And guess what? It turned out to be a great day, despite the 42 patients that I ended up seeing. 

And is that because I said it? I don't know. And I don't care. So this is how I'm relating it to miscarriages. Cause I've said this to many of my patients from what I learned, you guys probably know if you've. Been with me for a while. I had six miscarriages, but I still have three babies. So as I joke, I have more babies than I can handle. 

So you too, if you're going through it or have gone through it, you'll have a baby, I promise. Like it's so unlikely you couldn't have a baby. But what ends up happening, especially if you've ever had one miscarriage, is then the second pregnancy you do this little mind game. I'm not gonna get attached. I'm not gonna get my hopes up because I don't wanna be disappointed. 

And the fact. It doesn't work ladies. And I would argue that it is the wrong mindset and you should do the polar opposite. And I get it cuz I did that with my [00:02:00] first, I think five, maybe all my miscarriages. I was like, I'm not gonna get my hopes up. And my partners would do my ultrasound and I'd be like, Nope. 

I'm just not even gonna get excited until I see the heartbeat for like three weeks in a row. Just gonna be detached. Here's the truth, you're attached to that pregnancy. The second you see those two lines or the words you're. Right ladies, the second you find out you're pregnant, you are like, I'm gonna be a mother. 

And that is so powerful. Right now what we do when we say things like I'm just not gonna get attached is lie to ourselves. Because the fact is you're already attached. So rather than do that, which you think you're protecting yourself and you're not, because even if you tried to protect yourself, once you find out you've. 

Carriage, you're really sad. I wouldn't use the word devastated, and I hope nobody does because there's no reason for devastation because you will get pregnant again. Remember to like put it in the box that it is, which is, it sucks and it's sad, but you will get pregnant, so no need for devastation. In fact, don't even allow yourself Dev. 

Because it is not a valuable feeling or sentiment. Instead, [00:03:00] infuse it with positivity. I say this to my patients all the time, like we see that little heartbeat or we don't see it yet and we don't know what we're gonna see, but let's just put ourselves in the mindset of everything's gonna be okay. 

Visualize the end result, a healthy baby or heartbeat on the ultrasound, or whatever positive visualization you want, because it will serve two purposes, either it will infuse it with positivity and all those people who talk about. Say that we can change it are right. I don't know if they are, but the second is it will make you feel better. 

So even if those energy people and people who manifest and believe that we're actually creating our outcomes are wrong, it doesn't matter. You feel better or they're right. You've done it. Why would you go into it purposefully negative if you don't have to? And it is a choice. You can sit here and say to me, oh, but you're just like that. 

You know? That's just how you were born. And I will admit I was probably born a little bit more optimistic, but I've worked on this practice just like all of you. I've said this. You guys probably work on like your yoga practice and your exercise practice. And I don't, and I suck at that. I happen to be good at this, but it's because I practice it. 

So I'm [00:04:00] gonna get better at my exercise practice, and you people are gonna get better at your optimism practice, right? Because there is no harm in it. It is a win-win. It either actually manifests better outcomes or it merely makes you feel better. Zero downside. Okay. All right, that's my Thursday, um, motivation for you people. 

Bye.